agent_twiggy

It's a good time to lie low

2008-01-06T02:54:07Z

My brother just overflowed the sink. And now my mom is screaming like a banshee. My dad is clueless and from the sound of it, I think our bathroom is as good as destroyed. I'm really exhausted and I want to go to bed, but I'd rather stare at the computer screen with bloodshot eyes than risk going upstairs and get killed or worse, get roped into cleanup duty.

My family has this weird Christmas tradition...

2007-12-24T19:22:42Z

We open our presents on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas day. Now what do we do on Christmas day, you might ask. We go to our Grandma's and open MORE presents! So ok, maybe our tradition isn't that weird after all.

My brother and I have unanimously decided to become atheist. Because we can't be bothered with going to church this evening and watch wooly children scamper up and down the aisle pretending to be sheep in the annual nativity scene. The family stopped going to church a few years back when the ministers (there were two) got into a fight about just who should do the am services and who should do the pm services. Because everyone knows that the am services are more popular (against all logic, it seems). The whole fiasco was kind of disheartening and unholy for the community in general and we just haven't been back. Not that my brother and I were very religious to begin with. We were always kind of embarrassed during Sunday school. Probably because I stole extra craft supplies like macaroni noodles (I was 8). Also probably because we liked going places that we weren't allowed. (like the back corridors and the hidden room behind the bride's vanity table; the wall pannel swung out, it was awesome and creepy. They used to hide runaway slaves)
Although, let it be said that it was not for lack of trying that we turned out this way. Our parents tried very very hard to inspire a religious fever in us.

Important dates like your mum's birthday are bad things to forget

2007-12-22T04:10:37Z

Mom is in a snit because I can't remember when her birthday is. We were looking at a daily calender of shoes that I got for Christmas and she wanted to see what kind of shoe was pictured for her birthday. And then of course, when she found out that I didn't know, she wouldn't tell me when her birthday was...typical unreasonable behavior. I mentioned this fact to her and she whacked me in the leg, right where my gigantic bruise is from being slammed into the wall two days ago. She is a vicious woman, I tell you. And she holds a grudge. Which is unfortunate as we are to go shopping tomorrow and I am slightly broke, money-wise.

It has occured to me that a majority of lover's tiffs happen over the essential fact that the man never remembers the anniversary. It is a trap that my father has oft fallen into. And it seems that I have inherited this, erm...typically male genetic disorder for not being able to recall important sentimental dates. It's true, I can't remember ANYONE'S birthday. It is a ritual each year for me to hedge and prod and sneak around trying to figure out who's-what-when if it hasn't properly been written down. But since I have perfected this system, and also since I am a girl, people are usually none the wiser. Most people have the unfortunate, unfavorable and dismayed reaction when they discover that I have not remembered a certain special date, myself included. So I have resigned myself to the fact that if I am ever in a relationship, it will probably be me that is sleeping on the couch when important dates come around. Assuming that I have a boyfriend that remembers these sorts of things.

Peace out!

Am sooo unprepared for math exam it's not even funny

2007-12-21T03:22:08Z

I haven't studied this badly for an exam since middle school! And the worst part is, there's this little piece of me that really doesn't care. I know I got A's on all of my other exams, so what's one D? Or an F, even? Augh, I just know I'm going to be up all night staring blankly at the notes in front of me wondering when the hell we ever learned this shit.
My mom isn't helping the guilty conscience either.
Me: Mummy, will you still love me even if I get a really really bad grade on my math exam?
Mom: Well isn't that sort of stuff up to you? It's in your power if you get an A or not.
Me: I hate responsibility.
Also because she's right. But it's so much easier to blame it on something else.

I always thought that Eminem was spelled M&M until I had to write a paper about him

2007-12-19T22:45:31Z

I have not studied sufficiently for math at all, leaving only tomorrow afternoon for memorizing formulas from all 6 chapters. But in doing so I have reached a vaguely unconcerned kind of mood--the kind that makes you think "ah it will be fine" even though you know you have not studied and will in all probability get a D.
Why God? Is this inability to study math genetic? Or perhaps it is merely that my calculator has no batteries and I cannot bring myself to look at the review sheet?

At any rate, I have resolved to do anti-math. And that means starting the final portion of my English paper. Even though I do not understand Ginsberg's poem, Howl. Seriously. It's like this drug induced haze of gibberish. No, it IS a drug induced haze of gibberish.

Ps. Did you know that the government thought that they could use LSD as a mind-control tool in the 50s and 60s?
Pps. I read it on Wikipedia. It must be true.

Mission Impossible

2007-12-17T02:19:10Z

Mom is on a mission to redesign the entire house. We now have new shower curtains, new blankets and nobody can find the phone because she switched it with the toaster. The phone was in the same place for the last eleven years, damnit!

There is the possibility of a snowday tomorrow. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't object, but we have exams all week and I'd rather just get them over with. When I asked my dad for some ideas about my english paper, he suddenly went bonkers and tried to write it for me. I think he misses highschool. Either that or he doesn't think I'll get into college.

...why isn't there a mood icon for procrastination???

I have devious plans but I am not going to tell you because they are also secret devious plans

2007-11-25T03:42:49Z

I have been watching sooo many movies lately. Most recently I've seen the Titanic, August Rush, Amazing Grace and Enchanted (yes, the one by Disney). It was AWESOME! It's a Disney spoof about Disney. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Disney movies? It's like this horribly embarassing preteen crush. My first love was Dumbo. I watched it so many times that the video broke and my parents had to buy a new one. I think my parents will also have to buy me Enchanted.
August Rush was so-so. It was kind of stuck. I feel like the directors should've either made it more realistic or more surreal. So while it was neither, Johnathan Rhyes Myers made everything worth it. He sings in the movie! And he's not half bad. :)
Anyways, I must go and sleep before my eyes fall out. I have not slept properly for the last two nights and I was forced to awaken at 6 am this morning for the sake of Art. Hitting the snooze alarm turned out to be a near fatal option as the DIA had its grand opening today and I went to broaden my mind. It was actually pretty good.
I hope you all had a fantastic Thanksgiving. And I sincerely hope that your nanowrimo count is going better than mine. (I ended up drawing pictures of my characters the last time I tried to write)

Nanowrimo!

2007-10-31T02:23:13Z

Guys guys! I just made my nanowrimo account! It's snarky_taco_monkey.
also, halloween!! I'm gonna be a cancan dancer!

Movie!

2007-10-28T03:37:52Z

I just saw one of the cutest movies ever! The Darjeeling Limited--it's about three brothers who meet up in India to go on a spiritual journey together because they haven't seen each other since their father's funeral. The scenery is very beautiful and my mom and I liked the soundtrack so much that we're gonna buy it. On the other hand, the movie is also really whacky (but it makes sense) and I couldn't help being reminded of a really disfunctional james/sirius friendship if anyone has ever read the shoebox project or snitched.

"You killed our snake?!"

"if I fuck you tonight, I'm gonna feel like shit in the morning."
"I'm fine with that."

"I love you but I'm gonna mace you anyways!"

You'd think that by senior year I'd have some sense of time management or at least a working plan

2007-10-15T01:40:15Z

So I have this seminar paper about Elvis for my english class "what is hip". And I was planning on ~~starting~~finishing it this weekend. Except that so far, I haven't even read the 30 pages of text that I'm supposed to be analyzing.
Instead I have spent my weekend interviewing my mum, hiding in bushes, watching Cirque du Solei on youtube, and almost killing myself on the highway. Oh and applying to Wooster, which I just decided that I don't really want to go to.
I'm almost ashamed of myself. Almost--because then I decided that I don't need to officially feel bad until NEXT week because we've got a four day weekend coming up. And if anyone asks, tell them I'm trying a new lifestyle. I don't want to waste my whole life on highschool busy work afterall. It's about spontenaity and what matters NOW. And I think that what matters right now are some new icons.

Also, if anyone needs a good laugh check out youtube: hipster olympics. Nuff said.

I'm going to have me a nice little rant

2007-09-24T01:58:25Z

I AM SO SICK OF MY COLLEGE ESSAYS. are you done yet? are you done yet? That's all anyone ever asks. NO I'M NOT ******* DONE YET. Do I look like I'm done? If I was, I would be doing something FUN instead of sitting in front of microsoft word! Why can't people leave me alone? I feel like I'm swimming in circles. Heck, I'm even talking in circles. EVERY conversation opener nowadays is about college. And my parents are like the snooze alarm. Everytime I start to relax and think about something other than college, they ask "are you working on your college apps?"

flunk math y/y

2007-09-21T02:04:43Z

I can't wait till I can parallel park. Because then I can get my license and GO HOME AT NOON SECOND SEMESTER.

Anyways, I was bored earlier and procrastinating the inevitable math hw when I found this face-masque stuff in my mom's drawer. sO I thought I'd put it on and beautify myself. But after I took washed it off my face was as red as a tomato! Seriously, it was as if I'd been sunburned. And then there was this burning sensation...really kind of painful. I kind of panicked, thinking that maybe I'd have to go to school like that and oh-no-my-face-is-coming-off, when I checked the lable which said: "may include a tingling sensation or a hot burning. This means that the enzymes are working. Feeling may last up to two hours."

...TWO HOURS?! Fuck, I KNEW there was a reason that stuff was in a drawer.

brain meandering

2007-09-13T01:20:00Z

Chinese is possibly the best class ever. But seriously, this tonal stuff is really hard. I've been practicing the pinyin for a while now and my mouth feels like it's going to fall off. Call it pilotes for the mouth. I just hope that it's not actually like pilotes because then my mouth muscles could stretch and stretch until they're halfway across my face. You'll warn me if my lips look like they're growing, right?

More inane rambling:

School is extended by an extra 1/2 hour this year. Nothing can express my sheer disgust and disapointment.

My mom is like the ultimate backseat driver, it sucks. And after practicing in my dad's tiny car it's really hard to adjust to le big-butt van. I can't park anymore! I was starting to get the hang of it but now it's out the window. Yellow lines? What yellow lines?

I am havink some more terrible news to be telling you...

2007-09-05T19:54:34Z

Also, I seem to haff picked up a mental accent. I am not sure if eet is german or perhaps le french. I hope eet goes avay soon. Eet is very irritating to type.
Augh, le school. I feel like my brain has fallen out. Eet is soooo hard to get back in the groove. English is lots of fun. Ve are learning vat is "dec" and vat is "fen" in order to be truely hip bananas.
And not to mention ze Senior trip tomorrow!!! Eet's terrible!! Usually ve get to choose our own roommates, but zis time ze teachers did eet zemselves to stick us vith people ve don't usually talk to. Eet's going to be soooooo awkward, sharing beds and such. And I KNOW for LE FACT that my roommates and I vill never be bosom friends. Not even if ve vere stuck in Antartica together. Am I being pessemistic and bitter? Ok, actually I do haff some hope that if I must share a room vith zes people zat ve vill become partial aquaintences and I am totally prepared to be nice and friendly but God knows that I have requested a room change.

Guys, I've done something terrible

2007-08-22T17:48:14Z

I made a facebook!

Hello my sweet gerkhins

2007-08-20T01:46:30Z

Chicago was lovely. So lovely, in fact, that even though I was surrounded by people who insisted on playing scrabble, I did not want to come home.

Sharing a room with Mely was lovely as well. Although I did wake up at one point and her face was just about 1mm away from mine and it was vair vair strange because we all talked in our sleep. Not to mention our full-frontal flashing of the sidewalk. It was like a free peep-show for all of the yobos driving by except that we didn't realize it right away. We've also tested every means of transportation in Chicago. My favorite was the kareoke trolly.

Mely's most embarassing moment: We want a big one

Making rock-hard-deep-fried brownies

Fabio wears black leather, but so does Gilligan.

AND The One Mely Forgot.

In other news, I have recieved my schedule. Assail me with your complaints and comparisons.

Peace out, dude

2007-08-15T01:27:51Z

Tomorrow I am going to suffer through what I fondly call "Family Fun in the Waiting Room". We're all going to get our teeth cleaned and it's going to be horrible. My sibs won't stop bickering and my mum won't stop asking questions and I (hopefully) won't stop listening to my ipod. And we'll all go home grumpy and screaming at Cub to just for once in his life SHUTUP.
It's dejavu from the optometrist visit today. At least, I hope the dentist's office will have some good magazines. And by "good magazines" I mean something mindless and boring with lots of pictures like Seventeen or People. It's summer, so no one should notice if my IQ drops a few hundred points.
And finally, if I ever make it out of there with my sanity intact, I just hope mum won't keel me on the drive to Chicago so that I can enjoy the rest of my vacation in peace.

Hope the rest of you are having a much more restful week than me!

Families are danger zones

2007-08-08T17:43:09Z

I feel like I've just missed some good family drama. Mostly because mum is working from home today and...

...suddenly I've become her assistant/secretary/slave. I was just ordered to fetch some water for her phone conference. The next thing you know, I'll be doing her laundry. No, wait, I already do that. Nevermind.

I've been holed up in my room for most of the day listening to loud music, which is necessary to drown out the screaming from below. Some people would call it juvenille behavior. I would call it survival. Or preservation of sanity. Anyways, whilst I was hiding in my well-fortified military base, I finished reading Love is a Many Trousered Thing. If you have not read this book (series), you must do so immediately. I shudder to think of what your life would be like without it. It is quite literally, a laugh-out-loud book. Which is why you should never read it in public (I have once made this mistake). My one big complaint is that it was too short. Oh, and also, I hate the new covers. They are very ditzy.

My family radar senses tension on the horizon. I am going back to base with a fresh supply of rations (chocolate). Hope I'll make it back un-scathed.

Robin Hood

2007-08-03T18:20:29Z

I come to profess my love for the witty (and blond) Will Scarlet. I just finished reading the Outlaws of Sherwood by Robin Mckinley around 3am last night and I was too pumped to go to sleep because her battle scenes are brilliant! I must learn to use a longbow immediately! And then get lost in the woods! Whereupon someone will find me, lead me to the secret hidout, and teach me how to dupe a sherrif.

I found the dialogue a little confusing to read because the author was using this kind of ancient turn of speech, but you get into the flow pretty quickly. Also, I couldn't stand Richard the Lionheard. He was all lordier-than-thou and aghhdfskal;!! I guess he had to do that since they broke the law and all, but still! He was horribly annoying.

Also, my duty as a helper of games at Sunday school seems to consist mostly of acting as a human target for kids to throw wet sponges at when they've been good. I've come home soaking wet to my underwear every day this week--this is the STRANGEST sunday school I have ever been to. Also, overly wet people are not allowed in the sanctuary. I think that the secretaries are laughing at me when I come in to dry off.

Fanatic Mailboxes

2007-07-30T17:46:29Z

My dad has an irrational fear of mailboxes and the possibility that I might hit one. And it's not because I can't drive straight. It's that the mailboxes are encroaching on the road and one is going to swing out and chip the car.
Well...just another reason to buy a new car. This one stalls at red lights that are longer than a minute.

In other news, I've been drafted to help set up Sunday school at my Grandmother's church in exchange for some community service hours. 5-8 pm including lemonade, crafts, and brainwashing. My brother will be no help at all. He's having a theological discussion about whether or not Jesus was a human sacrifice. Guys, it's a really serious medieval place!! They have missionaries! They might burn me at stake for having irreverent thoughts! But then again, what's a little danger for the price of graduation? (Requirement of community service: 40 hours )

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows...what else?

2007-07-21T18:50:15Z

So you know how I said that I could wait to read the last book because I didn't want the series to end?

Well...that never happened. I went to the Borders party to get the book at midnight and I was dead tired when I got home at 1 am. BUT I COULDN'T GO TO SLEEP!!!!!! It was driving me nuts! Seriously. And They'd given us these glow-sticks at Borders.

Me: Oh! These must be for reading the book later!

Hee. I used mine to read the table of contents in the car. and the first page. and maybe the second. and just most of the entire first chapter. So then I got home and I put the book under my pillow in case my brothers tried to steal it while I was brushing my teeth. And then I tried really really hard to go to sleep.

Book: Read me!
Me: NO!
Book: I'm lonely down here under the bed.
Me: ...
Book: You know you want to.
Me: No I don't. I won't even look at the cover.
Book: READ ME!
Me: ok

The pages of the book even made that cracking noise because it was so new--obviously I was the first person to open it. That made me almost too delirious to finish the story.

Fastforward to 7:00 am

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo...the last page! *frantically turns the extra blank pages at the back for more print* Noooooo!! It really is the end! *reads "about the author" just in case* Nooooooo--zzzz...

I really loved the the dialouge with Ron because it was so funny this time! The table of contents was very exciting (that's when my resolve not to read the book broke). I really liked the battle scenes. The whole legend about the Deathly Hallows was great. Malfoy was a suprise that fell a flat because of how anti-climatic it turned out to be.

But something was bothering me, and I didn't realize what until I got to the epilogue. Oh JK, why did you write that? Where did all your talent go? Was it because you were as sad to write the ending as we were to read it? IT WAS TERRIBLE. Honestly, I hate to ask, but have you been reading too much bad fanfic? And the names? "Albus Severus Potter"? That poor child. Epilogues should be short and sweet. I thought that Harry's relationship to Ginny would be resolved, yes. But I thought the ending would be left way more open to interpretation. The book was good, but there was too much cheese. I like cheese, but not with my books.

Help?

2007-06-11T16:02:41Z

Exam in 1/2 hour!! AHHHHHHH.

There goes my future license

2007-06-10T02:17:18Z

So my dad drove his car into a ditch last night. And it got towed and now we've only got one car. But mom wants to get rid of the remaining car in favor of a new one, so pretty soon we won't have any.
That leads me to the question: who's going to drive me to and from school for exam week??

That's a really big apple

2007-05-23T20:45:33Z

Guess where I'm going! New York, baby!! That's right! NY, The big apple, center of all that happens. And guess what I'm gonna go do when I'm done with this post? I'm gonna go and pack!
La...I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I am. We leave Friday and get back Monday, so sure, it's a short trip, BUT IT'S GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN! I am bouncing off the walls. Not even airport security can handle me! Did you know that toothpaste is considered a liquid? That's not what we learned in science class. I hope the hotel has toothpaste. I'm thinking about not bringing any.
Our objective is grandfather-hunting. This is what I like to call our project. We're going to go to all these places around the city where M's grandpa lived and look at how the they've changed. It should be interesting. And if it's not...well...there's plenty of fun stuff to do in NY. Like pub crawling! (as if our chaperones would really let us do that)
So basically, my very short attention span has been cut in half during classes. I hope we haven't been learning anything important. :)

P.S. ARG!!! YOU NEED TO SIGN MY YEARBOOK, GIRL!
I was reading this SPN crackfic! where Dean turns into a girl and there was this one line "It was really hard to storm angrily out of the club when his shoes kept making such cheerful flip-floppy noises"

Hello all you furry nimrods

2007-05-15T16:04:45Z

School has been coasting. Life has been...toasting.
I fail at coherent rhymes. :)

So, AP exam tomorrow. Mum almost burned down the house yesterday. She didn't tell us there was stuff on the stove before leaving and the next thing we know, the fire alarm is going off and there's smoke everywhere. There is a mad rush for the stove where a lump of congealing purpley black stuff is overflowing and making green smoke. Of course, after finding out that nothing was actually burning made everything terribly anti-climatic. Except that none of the windows could be closed after opening them all and the purple stuff wouldn't come off the pot. Turns out it was only boiling sugar water. I guess you really don't need much to make a catastrophe.